Two Words
March 21, 2017

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“Help me”!

I was standing next to the nurses station as I turned to look from where the words came. Behind me, leaning against the corner stood a tall woman. With a stylish haircut and pajamas covered by a bath robe, she stared into my eyes with such deep penetration and pain, I could feel it in my stomach. That accompanied by the sound she used to convey her pain made everyone around the room, look in her direction. A nurse immediately went and placed her in a wheel chair.

My husband and I were here to admit his mother into a skilled nursing facility. For the past eight years, until this time she had been living with us. Recently diagnosed with moderate Alzheimer’s and the difficulty we’d been experiencing in keeping her safe and healthy, her doctor had recommended we place her under nursing care.

The decision had been fractious and frustrating. Much more personally for my husband. We admitted that the past few years with her had been much more difficult than when she first moved in with us. Unable to accept any guidance from us, she became increasingly angry, resistant to help and now, distant, to the point where she shut us out of her room daily except for meals and her multiple cups of tea. Coupled with her lapses in memory, anorexia issues, and habitual nervous rubbing of her face and hands, we felt challenged constantly. We would wake up each day and wonder what complexities we would face. She was not happy and we were not happy.

The nurses at the facility arranged for a smooth transition from us admitting her, out of sight, and getting her acquainted with her room and surroundings. At an appropriate time, the nurses asked us to leave, and to entrust the rest to them.

I’m sure, that all aspects of this transition with everyone involved brought many emotions to the forefront. We experienced depression, guilt, loss and they are ongoing and will be for a while. I’m sure the mother experienced similar, along with anger, frustration and even hate.

Reflections of our lives and what brought us to this point are universal in nature. Somewhere in each of us there is a part of us that is crying out.

“Help me”!.

 

Beginning of………
February 3, 2017

usa-by-trump

Fear without Knowing
January 21, 2017

original

 

So, I’m coming around the corner to go to the boy’s room and there are two people waiting in line. The first person is standing  about four feet from the restroom doors. The second person is standing sixteen feet from the restroom doors. A line is forming, but neither of these two people move forward to take up the distance in the line.

What keeps them from moving forward?

Is this a sign of the times?

Is their fear of moving forward greater than their need to release?

One person comes out of the left side restroom and the first person takes his place. But, the second person in line refuses to move forward, even though the line behind him is forming quickly and reaching out the exit doors of the building. Finally, the second restroom becomes available and the person ahead of me moves to take his position inside the restroom. I immediately take up the lax in space of close to twenty feet and wait for the next restroom to become available.

If fear is this obvious in a nondescript environment, what does it say about the county under Trump?

Are we going to be governed by our small but innate fear of ‘not knowing’, or fear of ‘who we are’ as a replacement for I AM?

Move forward! Take a stand! Be who you were meant to BE!

A Rock
December 3, 2016

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A rock is obtuse. It lacks the ability to discern insight, therefore it is solid in its makeup. It blends in with its surroundings, but in reality it is just ‘there’. It gives nothing. But, it takes something.

It takes space and the ability to absorb energy. Energy it absorbs is never given back in equal amounts of what is taken. On the contrary, it takes and takes and takes. Weather it is sunlight, air, or any energy, it sucks it from it’s source.

The purpose behind a rock is to reassure humanity that there is stability. An anchor for its inequality. A rock is a rock is a rock.

If you meditate on ‘rock’ you will find a deep, deep sense of solidness and anchoring. It will scare you with its depth.

How then does a human turn into a ‘rock’?

Probably, lack of love.

Give and take.

On both sides.

Sad.

 

Identity
November 17, 2016

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We’ve lost our identity. Our true identity. Maybe it’s social media. Maybe it’s because we’ve been trained to look outside of ourselves for respect, gratification and acceptance.

We’re feeling forgotten, left out and we’re in pain. You can’t fill that void with a new President-elect, drugs or any external means.

We have to stop, quiet ourselves…and listen to what we feel. We have to do this each and every day. And, each and every day we will learn truth and the outside world as we know it will slowly change.

We must change inside first, before our outside world changes.

 

Elect shun
November 11, 2016

clarity

 

Pre-election jitters induced angst and anxiety. Post election results produced anger with one half of America’s population and joy with the other half. It’s hard to reconcile all of these emotions with so many people involved.

The ones in anger feel robbed. They feel loss and they are hurt deeply. Loss is never a good feeling and feeling pain along with the loss tends to breed more anger, hate and prejudice. Possibly the three emotions they were initially trying to remove from the election rhetoric.

In moments like this, clarity is needed. And, unless you’ve experienced and felt an elevated form of clarity throughout your life it may not seem like the solution. Clarity is learned from personal experiences. It’s a feeling which lets you know: ‘you can’t be robbed’. Nothing can be taken from you that you’ve learned, that you instinctively know within or what you won’t relinquish.

The pain must be worked through with love and understanding.

Time will take care of the rest.

Unfiltered
November 5, 2016

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As you look at another’s relationship, can you see your own? What you want to suggest as a remedy to them might be applied to your own.

Someone needing an immense amount of attention and loving that has been lost maybe your own vision of what you already have. You just haven’t noticed it in your own life.

It’s never too late to give of yourself,…… to your friend, husband, wife, partner…… those feelings we all cherish and need.

Reach out and share what we all have to give.

Love.

Change and The Unknown
October 5, 2016

change-and-the-unknown16

Scroll to June 2016 for full musical

ACACIUS

(To ALL)

NICE JOB LADIES, NICE JOB! I SEE YOU BOTH HAVE ANOTHER SONG YOU’RE GOING TO SING. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THIS ONE IS CALLED: INVISIBLE HIGH HEELS. I GUESS THAT EXPLAINS WHY YOU’RE TAKING YOUR HIGH HEELS OFF.

 

 

(CHANGE and THE UNKNOWN remove their high heels and hold them in their hands. THEY commit to a cheeky sultry song and dance routine using the piano and bar stools. THE TRIUMVIRATE become the backup dancers and do stylized light tap during the chorus. Music Video 7 begins and depicts scenes from the song)

 

 

CHANGE AND THE UNKNOWN

INVISIBLE HIGH HEELS

(Hiding their high heels behind their backs and standing on tip toe as if their shoes were on)

HAVE NO TRAINING WHEELS

(Showing their high heels with no training wheels)

THEY’RE SO WONDERFUL TO WEAR

(Putting their shoes back on)

YOU’LL FEEL LIKE

YOU’RE WALKING ON AIR

(Air shoots up from the floor)

BUT BEWARE

THE UNKNOWN IS A DARE

WHERE LIFE IS LAID BARE

WITH A KEY FOR TOMORROW

WE’RE UNABLE TO BORROW

OOOH, OOOH, OOOH

(With a sexy curtsy)

WE’RE UNABLE TO BORROW

 

CHANGE

WE’RE YOUNG AND FULL OF ENERGY

IN A HOSTILE WORLD OF SYNERGY

CONSTANT CHANGE CREATES

UNAWARENESS AND EXCHANGE

LEARNING BECOMES AN EXPERIENCE

THAT ALLOWS YOUTHS DISAPPEARANCE

AND LIFE AROUND YOU

MORPHS INTO PERSEVERANCE

 

CHANGE AND THE UNKNOWN

INVISIBLE HIGH HEELS

(Hiding their high heels behind their backs and standing on tip toe as if their shoes were on)

HAVE NO TRAINING WHEELS

(Showing their high heels with no training wheels)

THEY’RE SO WONDERFUL TO WEAR

(Putting their shoes back on)

YOU’LL FEEL LIKE

YOU’RE WALKING ON AIR

(Air shoots up from the floor)

BUT BEWARE

THE UNKNOWN IS A DARE

WHERE LIFE IS LAID BARE

WITH A KEY FOR TOMORROW

WE’RE UNABLE TO BORROW

OOOH, OOOH, OOOH

(With a sexy curtsy)

WE’RE UNABLE TO BORROW

 

THE UNKNOWN

OUR INVISIBLE HIGH HEELS

(Hiding their high heels behind their backs and standing on tip toe as if their shoes were on)

ARE LOFTY IDEALS

(Holding their shoes high into the air)

FALLING IN LOVE HIDES AND CONCEALS

THE UNKNOWN AND ALL ITS ORDEALS

IN A WORLD OF UNOPENED OYSTERS

WE DEVOUR NEWNESS IN CLOISTERS

ACCOMPLISHMENTS BECOME PEARLS

AND DISCOVERY IS REPLACED BY BURLS

OOOH, OOOH, OOOH

(With a sexy curtsy)

OOOH, OOOH, OOOH

(With a sexy curtsy)

 

CHANGE AND THE UNKNOWN

INVISIBLE HIGH HEELS

(Hiding their high heels behind their backs and standing on tip toe as if their shoes were on)

HAVE NO TRAINING WHEELS

(Showing their high heels with no training wheels)

THEY’RE SO WONDERFUL TO WEAR

(Putting their shoes back on)

YOU’LL FEEL LIKE

YOU’RE WALKING ON AIR

(Air shoots up from the floor)

BUT BEWARE

THE UNKNOWN IS A DARE

WHERE LIFE IS LAID BARE

WITH A KEY FOR TOMORROW

WE’RE UNABLE TO BORROW

OOOH, OOOH, OOOH

(With a sexy curtsy)

WE’RE UNABLE TO BORROW

 

 

CERTAINTY OF AGE

INVISIBLE FROM OUR CAGE

MAKES LIFE A CHARADE

OTHERS SEE OLD

EVEN THOUGH

WE HAVE INNER GOLD

MOMENTS DISAPPEAR

AND BECOME UNCLEAR

THEIR TIME HAS ARRIVED

AND LEFT US DEPRIVED

JUST LIKE THE FINAL SEQUEL

THAT LEAVES US ALL EQUAL

 

INVISIBLE HIGH HEELS

(Hiding their high heels behind their backs and standing on tip toe as if their shoes were on)

HAVE NO TRAINING WHEELS

(Showing their high heels with no training wheels)

THEY’RE SO WONDERFUL TO WEAR

(Putting their shoes back on)

YOU’LL FEEL LIKE

YOU’RE WALKING ON AIR

(Air shoots up from the floor)

BUT BEWARE

THE UNKNOWN IS A DARE

WHERE LIFE IS LAID BARE

WITH A KEY FOR TOMORROW

WE’RE UNABLE TO BORROW

OOOH, OOOH, OOOH

(With a sexy curtsy)

WE’RE UNABLE TO BORROW

OOOH, OOOH, OOOH

(With a sexy curtsy)

OOOH, OOOH, OOOH

(With a sexy curtsy)

 

The Machine and It’s A Job
January 26, 2011

The washer overflowed once already and the noise out of its gear box could wake the dead. There was no inspection on the combination unit during the home inspection, so we didn’t know about the mechanical problems until we used it for the first time.

One of the local stores was having its annual ‘after the Holiday’ sales and we thought it would be a good time to purchase new units and save three to four hundred dollars. Also it would be an upgrade, and the high efficiency units promised to use one-third the water and sixty percent less heat to dry.

The purchase went quickly. It was programmed into ‘The Machine’ and we were offered a selection of delivery dates. Because of previous commitments, we scheduled the delivery for two weeks into the future. ‘The Machine’ accepted our date for delivery. ‘The Machine’ would call the previous day to announce the delivery window.

The previous day arrived, and ‘The Machine’ called us. There was a problem. Only the dryer would be delivered. The washer would be delivered the following week. We had already given the old washer/dryer unit to a friend, who was mechanically inclined and was going to repair the washer on his free time.”’The Machine’ was told that the separate deliveries was unacceptable, because we needed to do laundry that weekend. Back and forth, “The Machine’ called four times. The dryer would be delivered the next day and the washer two days later.

The dryer arrived. It was moved into the hallway, to await the washer, which had to be installed first. Inside were all the correct papers and the stacking mechanism to hold the two units together. The delivery person called “The Machine’. I had to verify delivery and the fact that I had given the previous units away to a friend. I was recorded. I was given a code number. I signed three sheets of acceptance in six places.

One day later ‘The Machine’ called again for the delivery window for the washer. The washer arrived. The installers moved the newly installed drain pipes from the air conditioner out-of-place as they forced the drain hose of the washer into the drain pipe. When they went to install the dryer on top of the washer, they discovered that ‘The Machine’ had sent the wrong stacking attachment. The dryer would have to be installed next week. The installer called ‘The Machine’ after we complained. We spoke to ‘The Machine’. ‘The Machine’ could do nothing. Call the store. In the meanwhile, one of the two installers started up the washer for a test. All of a sudden the first installer ran into the laundry room and stopped the washer. They had forgotten to remove the manuals and installation guides, which came out in a plastic bag, which was now full of water. They poured the water out into the kitchen sink.

The installer apologized, handed me a sheet of paper describing their service rating. He asked me to give them a ‘five’ (highest marks – anything lower was considered a failure), when ‘The Machine’ called to verify service. The installer shook my hand, and left. We called the store and explained the circumstances. The store would call us back. Three hours later after no reply, we called the store again.

They had ordered us new manuals. The stacking mechanism they had in stock was only in the color black. Our machines were white. The white stacking unit would be available in two weeks. They agreed to send one of their local service technicians out the next day to install the black stacking unit, and when the white one arrived, they would send out another technician to install the white unit, and remove the black unit.

‘The Machine’ called later that night with the arrival time of our stacking unit. When the technician arrived, he had forgotten our new manuals. ‘The Machine’ was called again. They were re-ordered. The dryer was installed on top of the washer and after final signatures and one more conversation with ‘The Machine’, the technicians left.

What has happened here? It should have been a simple delivery of a washer and dryer, in an allotted time, with an installation. How did it get so out of hand, complicated and inefficient?

‘The Machine’ was created over a period of time to eliminate all the previous problems that had been recorded over time, when units were ordered and delivered. ‘The Machine’ was installed to prevent problems from happening and to allow a perfect delivery and installation. However, something was forgotten.

Human nature. When everything becomes programmed, the process of independent thinking is taken away. No one is allowed to think, because ‘The Machine’ is there to do the thinking. Human nature kicks in and says “good, let it do the thinking”, I’ll just do the job.

All the human caring is gone. Only ‘The Machine’ cares.

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