Archive for November, 2011

Screw In The Lightbulb. Tight!
November 24, 2011

Life has a way of getting in the way of our true purpose. The material world bombards us on a constant basis and unfortunately, we listen to it. Part of the reason is survival. We need the basic necessities in life and they all take time and money. If we ignore these necessities, we end up being controlled even more, than what we have presently become. At least, if we try to achieve our goals, it manages to give us a small sense of freedom.

Everything we use our five senses for is based on some kind of energy. It’s up to us to ‘feel’ this energy and use it for our reconnection to the source. Years ago, I had attained a higher vibration level than what I am presently experiencing. Because I had few life experiences and lacked the knowledge of what I was feeling, I turned around one day and shut everything down. That was almost forty years ago. Since that moment, I’ve been trying to get back to that point in my life again. It’s been difficult. I’ve had many life experiences since then and I feel I could handle a change in my vibration level. For the positive. But, it still hasn’t happened.

I’ve asked myself many times, “why?’

I may have gotten my answer the other evening. Someone said to me, “Go back to the light!” “You already have all the answers inside”. “Shine!, shine!”

“You’ve unscrewed the lightbulb”. “Screw in the lightbulb! Tight!”

“What are you waiting for?”


The Swimmer
November 24, 2011

We all have things we like to do, that bring us closer to who we are. For some its car racing, for others, its mountain climbing, still others are lucky enough to have this feeling doing what they love while doing their work.

For me, it’s either cooking or dancing. I don’t know if the sensations are equivalent for each of us, but somehow, it sparks light in us. I was talking with someone the other day that is training for the upcoming summer Olympics. He’s a swimmer. I asked him what he felt when he was swimming. I wanted to know if it compared to how I felt when I was dancing.

The swimmer told me that the first thing he found was that it gave him a sense of ‘peace’. He said he felt united with the water. There was no duality. It gave him `drive’ and he said “I feel one hundred percent of me”. Purity was attached to this feeling and also a tremendous amount of ‘clarity’. When he’s  submerged underwater he said, ” I sense a power and I feel anything I put my mind to becomes possible”. He said that the water helped him to focus. It shuts out the outside world and all of its distractions. There is only a ‘one’ feeling’.

When I’m dancing, the feelings are similar. I go somewhere and connect to the music that is playing. I don’t know where I go, but it’s a different space. I try to let the music `do me’ as opposed to listening to the music and dancing to what I am hearing. It may sound strange, but there is a major difference between the two. The world around me disappears and I am focused. I feel energized and in control. Outside influences disappear. I feel at one with the music, and what I am doing. As with the swimmer there is `clarity’.

Meditation gives you the same feelings. As does, ‘being in the moment’. I think that’s the key to all of these feelings.

A single focused moment, that keeps repeating itself.

Feeding, and what? Dancing?
November 20, 2011


He’s twenty-five. When is the last time someone who was that age approached me and was willing to enjoy my company? This encounter was like a feeding frenzy.

During our short time together, we discuss  birth places, job scenarios and life needs. His is monogamous. He consumes alcohol like it was his first sex. Of course he is adorable on all levels. He is young, intelligent, vibrant and has the  energy of a thousand older men. He is inquisitive for life and life experiences, but not with youth. They lack his needs on an enlightened level. He wants the knowledge and assimilation of feelings from an accumulation of aged life experiences. This man, on some levels is insatiable.

As a human, there is lust for his wants, because they are fresh, new, and oh, so capturing on so many levels. He is like a siren of fulfilling needs.  Unattached by life’s complications and requirements, he exudes a freedom. He still has needs, but they can be fulfilled over time. He is young.

As he talks and expresses himself, he spills not one, but two drinks. It’s embarrassing on a level of conformity and normality. I pay the bartender for his mishaps, but the beauty of all of this is in ……… ‘ his beauty’ .

He’s uninhibited. He feels and expresses his feelings for love on so many levels, and as I look up around the room I see envy. People are watching us. We are the main attraction in the circus of life tonight.

This envy, is followed by lust. The on-lookers show regrets for not previously grasping moments in time that were memorable and meaningful, or, in past experiences.  They only recognize what they are seeing now.

Don’t waste your life.

There are so many beautiful moments to enjoy.

You just have to realize they are right in front of you.

Suck them up. Sometimes they are short and fleeting. But they can make wonderful memories.

This one for me was short. I left the room.

I went across the street and danced till my frustrations were gone.

But what a beautiful evening!

November 19, 2011

Misconstrued: an understanding gone awry.

I’m home and I’m feeling restricted. I strip down to my underwear and I feel I can breathe.

I hope this conjures up a picture of ‘commando’ in your mind, lol.

Feelings. loss of love, or emotion are a strange combination of events for anyone to assimilate in an evening.

If we initiate a scenario that is left for someone to absorb and accept while they are reeling from personal conflict on many different levels, there is confusion. It may be misinterpreted and be misdirected thinking, but overall it is a feeling that has to be resolved.

Sometimes these feelings take time.

If not, as with friends, there usually is a period of time for forgiveness.

Forgiveness is a wonderful emotion.

It sets us fee.

Isn’t that what we really want, in the end?


On some level.

November 19, 2011

Limits are constrictions on your life. They are imposed by outside influences, or you. If you impose them, they are your limits.

And why would you impose them?


That’s the answer.

Is your conditioning correct?

 To you it is; to others, it’s conditional.


Because it’s not your life. To others, it’s their life, and how they perceive it.

We need to feel the actions we initiate, are ours, ….and we are free.

But marriage, and a hundred other scenarios complicate the scene.

We have to be willing to accept .

Accept what?


November 18, 2011

People lie. They lie about themselves, their deeds, and what they are feeling and thinking. Like the old expression ‘even their thoughts give them away’, these lies show through their actions. It’s just what people do. In most cases it is to make someone’s life, or at least their hearing, less troublesome and less painful. Maybe it’s done from the standpoint of caring. If it isn’t done from the caring standpoint, then it’s for hidden reasons.

We are trapped by our beliefs, and our beliefs govern our reasoning. Reasoning is based on life experiences and sometimes these experiences are less than gratifying. To feel better, we weave magic like shamans, artistically painting the picture we want to see and believe. Words drop like musical notes from our mouths to deceive the listener. Joy, or some form of pleasure is derived from this scenario, otherwise we wouldn’t express these feelings though lies.

We’re free to express expressions of grandeur, but expressions are feelings that can be read. If the listener is perceptive, lies become merely a disappointment, and unbelievable.

Stop and Go
November 14, 2011

‘Stop’ is a form of resistance. ‘Go’ is the absence of resistance. Somewhere between them there is a middle ground called neutral. If you use neutral in your life, you will feel somewhat safe. It’s like sitting on the edge of a fence. You really aren’t going anywhere and you haven’t fallen off. You will feel some sort of security in your position.

In order to ‘go’ you will have to participate, and when you decide to make this move, you risk your fears.

Your fears should be likened to wearing a pair of sandals. If you take them off your feet are exposed fully. If you decide to cross a stream barefooted, you will feel everything. Water rushing between your toes, mud, rocks and whatever the stream is carrying on its path. You may even experience a little pain from rocks on the stream bed.

But isn’t it worth the experience for a little pain?

Being somewhat exposed will leave you with no regrets and a full life.


November 13, 2011

There are innate parts of us that require anonymity. Mostly on thinking. Why do you think this is? Fear is the logical conclusion. And if we use this anonymity in our lives, what do we gain?

I would like to say ‘acceptance’, but that would be a lie. What we really gain is a desire. Usually hidden.

Why can’t we reveal this desire? Somewhere in our psyche we believe we won’t be accepted.

What a strange concept. Why?

Because we are never accepted, unless we accept ourself.

It’s a hard thing to do. But if you do, you’ll set yourself free.

It’s really quite beautiful.

Try it!

November 12, 2011

Levels depend on needs. There is a hierarchy that is in all of us. We try to reach a level of need that meets our aspirations. Is this necessary? Not really, but it’s an innate drive that we feel to be better. Better than what? Better than what is expected or better than what the next person is? That’s why we rush ahead to a pointless end. From driving, to work, to  sex. It’s all about satisfaction on numerous levels.

I’m in a restaurant of someone else’s choosing. It’s somewhere I haven’t been before. I see around me people in suits and affordability. I don’t feel uncomfortable. I want to experience this  moment. It feels rich and unattainable. The food is exceptional. The people around me expect this food and service and they are willing to pay the cost. It is definitely a level above what I am accustom to, because I see, but I don’t receive. It’s memorable, delightful and worthwhile.

How come, now of all times, they all are privileged to this?

 It’s levels.

Levels of acceptance. Everything we need and want is always around us. It’s up to us whether or not we want to join in the game.

The game is fun. Don’t kid yourself. We just haven’t accepted the fact that we belong.


Simple Can Mean ‘Alone’
November 10, 2011

When we are born, we separate from our human life force and become single. The rest of our lives we spend trying to feel connected again to someone or something. This journey we call life.

It goes from simplicity to complicated in a very short time span. When it becomes complicated, we instinctively try to simplify. We remove complications, roadblocks and aggravation. In doing so, we get closer to becoming single again. An empty feeling replaces what was discarded. Some call it loneliness or an alone feeling. To suppress this feeling we begin to take on ‘things’ in our lives to stop this lonely feeling. The cycle repeats.

To break the cycle, you first have to accept ‘alone’. When you accept a feeling, the feeling dissipates and eventually disappears.

Can you accept ‘alone’?

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