The Wrong Type Of Love

There are many types of love. And, we all have different definitions of what love should be.

I was talking separately to a couple I know who have been together for twenty-two years. Although they share the same roof over their heads and some common denominators, I discovered they had different definitions as to what love meant to them.

One persons’ view of love was based on a personal intimacy, while the others’ was based on a form of giving. I’ll call one ‘Intimate’ and the other ‘Giving’.

‘Intimate’ was wanting and needing love that was very personal. A love based on touching, physical contact, caring and a sense of knowing who ‘Intimate’ is.

‘Giving’ was wanting and needing love that showed appreciation. A love based on giving gifts with expectations of being loved in return through the act of being thoughtful.

Neither were connected in love. More like they were connected because of the length of time they had been together. Neither had talked to each other about their ‘love needs’. Each was assuming the other knew what the other needed or wanted.

Relationships are difficult, and we forget through time, to keep our desires and needs open to our partners. There is a way through this. You have to be willing to sit across from each other and look each other in the eyes, while holding the others hands. When you start this exercise, do the first three to five minutes in complete silence, all the while thinking about the kind of love you need and want. Many emotions will come to the forefront. Talk about them. Reconnect on a level that makes you both feel comfortable. Discuss the emotions you are feeling.  You will feel exposed and vulnerable, so go slowly. Listen to each others needs carefully. See if there is a way to re-connect your missing desires into one love that binds you emotionally and physically. You will both have to share what you’ve lost in each other.

It will help you re-discover the type of love that brought you together in the beginning. And, you’ll find all the conditions that love can create for each of you, just as love does, when making a fine wine.


2 Responses

  1. Are you cynical or closed to a different perception?


  2. as if!


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