Archive for August, 2010

Just Cooking
August 26, 2010

It’s 4:00am, and considering the time I feel quite good. I’m wide awake and looking forward to cooking.

Before I went to bed last night, I watched one of the cooking shows on TV. I haven’t had the time in months to watch one and I wanted to see what I’d been missing. It was one of those pre-scripted  reality food shows, that seems unscripted, with mouthe, pompous, arrogant know it alls, demeaning the poor uninitiated chefs into the small worlds of what the arrogants feel is great. As a friend put it to me once, “if their talent ever catches up with their egos, they will be great”. I continued to watch the show to the end, even though I resented how they belittled their group of would be chefs.

I start cooking. I begin to feel that joy I get, when I cook. It’s different from the office work. It gives me an instant satisfaction and a great feeling of accomplishment. I like the simplistic thoughts that enter my mind and the loss of consciousness with the outside world. I enter into a cooking realm. I don’t expect perfection, because I know it doesn’t exist. I only expect the best I can do in any given moment. It can’t be forced. It must well up from inside you as you move from moment to moment. Interjections from the staff have me smiling. It’s an egoless group and I love working with their knowingness. No one takes offence to suggestions and everyone gives them in a spirit of helping one another. Carefulness, complexity and caring rule the room. Today, I feel honored to be working with them. I feel their respect and I have great respect for them. The chef teaches me something I have forgotten and with a laugh we work together on a new solution to an old problem.We’re both happy with the result.

I juggle my time between the kitchen and the office. I answer emails and return phone calls, while my heart is still in the kitchen. I surprise myself on the roasted potatoes. I could swear someone else made them, and the rice pilaf came out well also. The staff compliment me. I move through a series of rituals and performances always thinking how I can improve. My imagination begins to think of endless scenarios of untried food fantasies. Now is not the time. I move on, and the staff pushes me a bit on my time. This is the best I’ve felt all week. It’s a committment, but un-pressured, I’m relaxed, happy and I’m totally enjoying myself. If I didn’t know better, I’d say I was having sex.

I guess all of this is just an indicator if you’re suited to what you’re doing in your life. It never really feels like work and if it comes close to feeling like you feel when you have sex, you’ve found your calling.

By the way, I’ve never read the book pictured on this blog. I just liked how it felt when I saw the cover, so I used it. It’s available on Amazon….r


Desperate Acts
August 26, 2010

I’m driving to the post office, the bank and the glass warehouse store. Each and every road I take, I see acts of desperation. It’s the day after the full moon and I’m wondering if its residual residue. Or is it just the times? On eight different occasions drivers have darted out in front of me, failing to stop at a side street or seemingly, doing a ‘make a break for it’ type scenario. I look in my rear view mirror and there is not a single car in sight. Why would someone chance an accident knowing they only had to wait, maybe three seconds, for a clear approach and no traffic? I look at their faces as they dart by my windshield. Frantic and desperate looks shape their furrowed brows.

Everyone has problems. Very overwhelming in many cases.

With no end in sight, is a desperate act, a subconscious way out? They might be thinking, ‘I’ll chance it’. ‘What have I got to lose’? ‘My life sucks anyways’. Their reward, if they make it? ‘I cheated death, I got away with it’. ‘Ha ha’. ‘Now, I feel better’. A small reward in their life that momentarily gives them a feeling of success in something they’re not feeling in their ‘real life’. Dangerous actions?  Yes. But, better some small accomplishment, than no accomplishment at all.

And if they lose?

There’s only death. Right?

And then, their problems are over.

Not pleasant thoughts, I know, But I don’t see any other rationale for what I’m seeing. And, quite frequently on a daily basis. People want out of the life situations they have created.

Maybe Labor Day will help. Like one of the staff said to me, “I can hardly wait. I’m going somewhere where there will be peace and quiet”.

For the body, the mind and the soul.

Power Sharing
August 25, 2010

In my dream, four people were asked to power share. There was a large glass wheel with a center axle on which four chairs were placed equally apart, facing each other. The people were to face each other at all times. The glass wheel was symbolic in the sence that everything would be visible and be able to be seen by all. The wheel rotated according to the days of the year and was driven by a continual drop of water. Each person was allowed the power to rule according to when their chair appeared in a given slot. The slot in time length was three months. If the person with power ruled unwisely, everyone would be able to see and the next person who came to power could choose to change what the former person had initiated. With the system, it encouraged everyone to govern with the ‘whole’ in mind. Egos didn’t have enough time in power, to ruin the ‘whole ‘.

Want to try it Iraq, Afganistan?

August 24, 2010

It was 1997 and we were in Signal Hill.  Starbucks was branching out across America and the world, and they were on a major expansion drive. Everyone had tried their coffee and I was no exception. In their early years they had the nick name of Starburn. Not everyone was used to a heavy roasted coffee bean.

During this time I noticed they weren’t carrying many items to snack on with their coffee. I came up with the idea that if they had a unique coffee cake that they could call their own, it would be a match made in heaven, as they say. Our Signal Hill location had tremendous capacity and I had grandiose visions of sending a product out all over America.

I did a lot of experimenting and I finally developed a product that I called a Java Twist. It was unique in the fact that it could have numerous types of fillings and flavors to match different coffees or individual preferences. And, it had its own unique shape.

Howard Schultz (Starbuck’s CEO) was coming to Los Angeles to do a promotion of his new book and a book signing. It was a private limited engagement through the Los Angeles Business Journal. I thought that this would be the perfect time to offer my product. Little did I know at that time, it was the improper way to approach Starbucks. I signed up for the luncheon. All of us at work had put together a few samples of the Java Twist with the corresponding literature, that I was prepared to offer.

The luncheon was upscale. I wondered at the time how someone had managed to de-bone half a chicken, while leaving a partial drumstick, pointed to the North Star, on every table. The meal was memorable.

I had purchased Howard’s book, ‘Pour Your Heart Into It’, so I could join the others at the end of the function for the book signing. Under my table was a large plain white designer bag filled with the Java Twists. I waited until most of the crowd had dissipated and got in line. It actually took some encouragement from a friend who prodded me to “Go ahead, you have nothing to lose”. I had gotten cold feet at the last moment and I was going to chicken out.

When I got to the table, I pulled up the white bag from my side and placed it in front of Howard on his table. He looked somewhat startled and in a discerning voice, said, “What’s that?” At the same time three others rushed to the table from behind him and grabbed the bag as if it had contained a bomb. I replied, “It’s an idea”. To which Howard replied, “Well we can always use an idea”, after the contents were examined by the ones who had jumped forward. I gave him a brief description of the Java Twist and he commented and signed my book, telling me that he would be in touch.

He kept his word. A few weeks later a personal letter arrived from Howard, telling me that they had enjoyed the product and he had forwarded the information to an associate who would contact me regarding the product and sample testing. Weeks ensued and I left numerous samples with a line of different people and outlets. In the end, the person in charge for the continuation was being transferred to Australia and he passed all the information to his replacement. More samples and communication ensued, but the new person had his own agenda. It died a slow death.

In the meanwhile, I had the product protected and Trade Marked. That took a few years. I still have it and may do something with it eventually.

When the time is right.

Trial By Dream
August 18, 2010

In my dream I was on trial for being gay. My accuser was an attractive blond woman whom seemed incapable of accusing anyone of anything. I was on the stand defending myself. At one point when I was backed into a corner verbally, waiting for an answer to come to me, I reversed my stance and asked a question in return. Addressing my accuser, I asked, “What kind of sex have you had?” The prosecution jumped to his feet and yelled “Objection”. When the judge asked me where I was going with my question, I told him that everything should be put on the table. My question was an important factor in determining what preconceived ideas were forming the basis for my trial. If I was being judged by someone who’s sexual experiences had been distasteful in the past, and left them with feelings of guilt or disgust, or just the idea of sexual encounters with this connotation, then it would affect judgement on me.

On the opposite side of the coin, I stated that if my accusers sexual experiences had been high-grade, it could also put another slant on the judgement against me. Rewarding and fulfilling sexual experiences definitely leave you with a different slant on life. I also wanted to know her emotional level. Was she at an emotional level of some child or a mature adult? Had she been influenced by readings or knowledge that was based on circumstances from a book written two thousand years ago? Who taught her what she knows today?

The judge told my accuser she could answer my questions or not. She took the fifth in every question.

In the end I was released and set free.

And so are you.

Water Diamonds
August 17, 2010

The alchemists were always searching for the universal solvent. Little did they know that the answer they were searching for, was ‘water’. If left flowing long enough on any surface it will erode even the hardest material known to man. Diamonds.

We were invited to view the restoration of a friend’s pool over the weekend. The water was pure and clear. Any movement made while in the pool, caused the light to refract through the water and the air gaps created, became brightly lit diamonds. As the sun set, the light refracting on the water made the diamonds brighter with each moment.

Precious like diamonds, water is fundamental and essential in our survival. But, without balance, it also has the power to be destructive. Take it away from land and you have drought. Too much on land and you have floods.

We take water for granted. It always seems to be around us, whenever we require its sustenance. And we assume it will always be there when we need it. Like the air we breathe and the sun above.

Water denotes life. Take your conscious mind and make it as fluid as water. Let its purity be the solvent to dissolve your pains and clear your body. Try to immulate its characteristics. Pureness. Cleanliness. Let life’s essence, like water, seep into every crevice of your being. Become more precious than diamonds and reflect the balance of the universe, as light, back to the world.

A Mo-Mint
August 14, 2010

We were on the dance floor, and he offered me a mint. I said to him “‘I didn’t know it was that bad”. He said “it wasn’t, I just wanted to meet you”. My dance moves were somewhat wild and I wondered why he wasn’t shying away. Seems everyone else was. I was trying to let the music do me. Lose myself and my thoughts, concentrate on the music and just be the music. Maybe mint man was just curious, or he saw something different. As equal beings we all have the potential to be whatever we perceive. There’s no greater or lesser. It’s our perception that separates and makes distinctions in life.

All night I’d been watching as people lived out the scenarios of life as they know it. Hundreds of different worlds crisscrossing, blending, mixing and combining new and old opportunities. Like the notes on a sheet of music. When played with all the right nuances, a beautiful melody.

Follow the notes. Make your life a song no one will forget.

A Fable : The Spell
August 12, 2010

Once upon a time in a land far off, there was a very great and wise wizard. He placed a spell upon a sailor and a servant for deeds in their past.

The sailor was cast out onto the oceans to sail continuously stopping at all the ports of call. To break his spell he must receive the gift of love. The sailor was allowed to give love, but not receive it, until he met someone who was selfless. The wizard, who was also kind gave the sailor one instrument he could use to help him on his quest. It was wine.

The spell on the servant was silence. He was not allowed to speak. He would serve his masters until he was given the gift of freedom. The wizard’s instrument to the servant was music.

Forty years passed, and much longer. The sailor would call at ports and give his gift of love to the people he met. They took his love and left. The servant toiled under his masters and was only given more duties to perform.

One day, the sailor sailed into the port where the servant lived. Through circumstance, the sailor was invited to the master’s house of the servant. The sailor began to give love and poured his wine. The servant, commanded by his master played his music. The sailor had never heard music like this before, and he listened intently. The servant while clearing the wine glass away spilt some on his hand. To prevent punishment and without anyone noticing, the servant, tasted the wine on his hand. He had never tasted wine like this before and it pleased him. It came time for the sailor to leave. The master had been pleased and invited the sailor to return.

The next time the sailor came to port to visit the master’s house, the master was away. Compelled by their spells, the sailor and the servant gave each other the wine and the music. Upon drinking the wine, the servant began to speak, and hearing the music, the sailor felt love for the first time. The spells were broken.

The wizard’s spell was Understanding. Once the sailor and the servant realized they were not as others saw them, they were allowed to honor that which most set them free.

25 Cents
August 10, 2010

I remember, I was in Germany, hitchhiking from Berlin to Cologne and I only had twenty-five cents in my pocket. I was hungry, but at the same time extremely happy. Joyous, actually.

When you have nothing, you have nothing to lose. I ‘felt’ a ‘trust’ in knowing that everything was fine, and going to be fine.

I accepted the moment, and I felt great!

August 10, 2010

If we lived in infinity till the end of time, how many mistakes would we make? Would our mistakes stop?


That’s why we have to love where we’re at. Start here. Start now, and love from this moment.

How else will you be able to love when you get to where you are going?

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